On March 19,1989 my life and the lives of my children changed suddenly and dramatically. It was on that day that my first husband, Alex Ringelheim, a 40-year-old vibrant father of three, died of a heart attack on his way to join his oldest daughter at a Sunday school service.  

I was left as a single parent of Jenna, 8, Matt, 5, and Kayla, 3 months. Warmth and an outpouring of support from family and friends surrounded me. Friends took turns staying with me over the first few weeks, caring for the children when I developed pneumonia and sending meals for several months. My children's doctor made a home visit when the baby became ill. My neighbor, the director of a day camp where my son was enrolled, came over and told me that his tuition would be taken care of. The phone rang off the hook with people checking in on me.   I had an internal sense of being held by the world.

Despite the embracing support my family received after Alex's death, the realities of the emotional recovery, the care of my children, and the financial responsibilities were still quite monumental. When the dust really began to settle, the realities of single parenthood posed numerous challenges. It became clear that the hopes and dreams that we had for our children would be very hard to accomplish on my own.

One of our hopes grew out of a childhood experience of Alex's. He had attended overnight camp every summer throughout his youth culminating in a teen cross-country trip with his camp friends. He had loved camp, a strikingly different environment than his home in NYC, and had spoken to me many times about his camp memories. He had clearly wanted to pass this tradition along to his children.

Although I was determined to provide my children with the life experiences and opportunities that they would have received had their dad lived, I could see that summer camp was an expense that we could not afford. Although I was advised that scholarships for camp were not readily available, I persevered. I was very fortunate to find several camp directors who graciously extended themselves to make my children's attendance possible.  

My children's participation in wonderful overnight camps provided an incredible healing opportunity for our entire family. It provided my children with a myriad of experiences that would be hard to capture at home - the mentoring of counselors, wonderful role models, the soothing qualities of nature and play, quality instruction in sports and the arts, and a place to "feel normal" without the constant reminder of their loss. These special times for the children provided me, as a single parent, welcome and much needed respite, a time to step off the often overwhelming pace of life and restore myself.

Having been as fortunate as we have been, I would like to pass along the gift of summer camp to other families who have lost a parent. In doing so, I hope to provide a healing experience for children and parents who have undergone the trauma of loss and grief. I strongly believe that these early interventions can have significant impact in helping families minimize the damage that this type of trauma can cause. At times, we all need to feel a sense of being held by the world.

Cyndi Jones